Wednesday, October 26, 2005


During a stop on our geology field trip in the Marin Headlands area, we saw several park ranger vehicles drive by with the lights flashing. When we were ready to continue five minutes later, they'd blocked off the main road, and we were detoured to no man's land.
The reason for this, we just discovered, was that less than half a mile away from where we'd been, some guy had pulled over on the side of the road and was, apparently, yuking. Rangers noticed and tried to question him, but he was acting weird, so they searched his car. Lo and behold, there in the trunk was his ex-girlfriend, whom he'd very recently killed. That's when the rangers called in the cavalry. Presumably, the dude was planning on doing a body dump over the cliff. The excitement of our near-brush with a murderer was spoiled by his idiocy. A stealthier criminal would have picked a time other than midday on a sunny weekend to do his body-dumping.

Monday, October 24, 2005


Went to the coast yesterday on a field trip for my geology class. After about eight hours "out in the field" with my classmates, I was forced to come to an inescapable conclusion: cool people do not go on geology field trips. These are excursions for the nerd elite. I can only say that there were a lot of Star Wars jokes.
It was an interesting. We got to glare jealously at the HUGE ocean-side houses - damn rich people. But I was comforted by the fact that although they can afford multi-million-dollar coastal homes, money can't buy them brains. This was exhibited by the fact that they chose to build next to or directly on top of fault lines, and also that the rock supporting their mansions was pillow basalt, which is constantly being devoured by the ocean. Further evidence was a house which boasted a backyard fence literally on the edge of a sharp cliff over the ocean. And the fence was about two feet tall. As if that wasn't dangerous enough, those daredevils chose to place a trampoline in their yard. Within three feet of the inexplicably short fence.
It was, admittedly, hard to gauge exact distances from my vantage point, but here's how it looked:

I did see a couple of kids jumping on the thing, but when we passed by again thirty minutes later, they were gone. Did they go inside? Or did they fall over the absurdly short fence?
Now that's natural selection at work.

In closing, I would just like to say that when you work this hard for a joke, it doesn't deserve to be laughed at:

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

Meme'd to Death.

To be honest, I don't really know what the word meme means. I just know that it's a term bloggers use for "tagging" each other with random "personality quizzes." Basically, they are the blog equivalent of stupid mass-forwarded emails. Still, I got "tagged" at some chick's site, and since I have nothing better to do at the moment, here goes:

10 Years Ago: I was in junior high, getting alternately ignored and teased by the other kids, wearing ugly clothes and braces, fighting with my hair, and hating every second of everything.
5 Years Ago: I was fresh out of high school with little direction in my life, loving and adjusting to my first job, and perpetually late for everything. I was one year away from a rather traumatizing series of car accidents, none of which were my fault (honestly!). I was also, sadly, a bit thinner.
1 Year Ago: I was grieving for my Kibby Kitty. I was also beginning to focus more on school and to set serious academic goals in my desperation to graduate from community college.

5 Treats I Enjoy:
  • Cold water.
  • Twix bar.
  • Nectarines.
  • Over-priced yuppie coffee drinks.
  • Hot cocoa.

5 Songs I Know the Words To: I think I know quite a few more, but here's the ones I can think of now.

  • "#1 Crush," Garbage.
  • the entire Franz Ferdinand album.
  • "Should I stay or Should I go," The Clash.
  • "Silver and Cold," AFI.
  • the entire "Hot Fuss" album by The Killers.

5 Things I Would Do With a Million Dollars: (I wouldn't buy you a monkey.)

  • Bum around Europe for a year or two.
  • Take my friends to Hawai'i or somewhere equally fun.
  • Go on a maaaaad shoe/clothing/purse/jewelry shopping spree.
  • Hook myself up with an iPod.
  • Buy half a house (this is, remember, California. A million dollars only goes so far).

5 Places I'd Like to Run Away To:

  • England. (Nowhere specific.)
  • Hawaii or Polynesia.
  • France.
  • The ocean.
  • Canada (death to Bush).

5 Things I Would Never Wear:

  • Pointy-toed shoes (my feet are f-ing big enough).
  • Real animal fur.
  • Tapered-leg pants.
  • Plaid with polka dots and stripes.
  • A bikini in public (I don't want to be the cause of mass blindness and trauma).

5 Favorite T.V. Shows: I try not to watch t.v., because I'm easily addicted, plus it makes me feel dumb. These shows are the only I watch with any sort of regularity, and they are all really lame. I started to watch the last two as part of a project for my American Culture class, and now continue to watch for no real reason. But they are all good to knit in front of.

  • CSI - (Original series only) Very unrealistic for the most part. But I enjoy predicting the plot twists and watching the downright bizarre cases unfold. And I do like most of the characters.
  • Without a Trace - Again, lame. The delicious Enrique Murciano make it worth the watch, but lately not even he can save its recent turn to boring and angsty crap.
  • Lost - Addicting at first, but it's starting to drag. I mean, how long can one stay interested in dramatic, mysterious plot twists with a bunch of gorgeous people (every one with a tragic past) stuck on a booby-trapped island? Do yourselves a favor, guys, and end it this season.
  • Desperate Housewives - I can hear you laughing at me. I'm not sure why I watch this show, except to see how ridiculous it gets. It's so lame and to the extreme. I don't think I even like any of the characters, although Mike Delfino is some good eye-candy. I find it fascinating that our culture is one that will tune in en masse to a show that glorifies hormone-driven lowlifes behaving badly.
  • Grey's Anatomy - I can just see the creators of this show doing the initial brainstorming. Some schmuck probably said, "Hey! ER's been done, but what if we completely changed the "hospital workers" theme by mixing in healthy doses of teenage angst like you'd find on the WB channel, and "clever modern singles with unrealistically witty dialogue" a la Sex and the City?" And all the other schmucks exclaimed, "BRILLIANT!!" This show is so trite and predictable that it's funny to watch. The characters are junior high kids put in the bodies of adults, having crushes on each other and moaning about how their lives are miserable. The writers took every single situation that's been over-done on TV and crammed it all into this show: casual sex, unexpected pregnancy, the boyfriend's wife showing up, contracting an STD from your girlfriend only to find she got it from your most hated coworker, unrequited love, yadda yadda yadda. Keep in mind that these people are supposed to be responsible for the lives and health of the masses, and yet they don't know enough to use condoms. Sheesh.

5 Greatest Joys:

  • Reading a new book. Or an old favorite.
  • Finishing my homework.
  • Sleeping late.
  • Holidays with the family.
  • Having my rooms be clean and organized. (Not that it lasts long...)

5 idiosyncrasies:

  • You remember that "step on a crack..." children's rhyme? Well, to this day I don't step on the cracks. Not for fear of any superstition; it's been automatic for years.
  • I don't like to sleep with socks on.
  • When I was little and a very quiet, shy little kid, I didn't like to express myself in any way others would notice. So when I got really happy or excited, I would give a silent shudder. I still find myself doing this on occasion, mostly when I'm alone.
  • When eating dinner, I have always started with the vegetables, then the side dish, and saved the main meat for last. If the side dish is better than the main (e.g.: mashed potatoes vs. pork), however, then I eat the side dish last.
  • I always make piles on the floor. They can consist of books, papers, knitting crap, but it's usually clothes. Dirty clothes, yes, but also clothes that I tried on but didn't wear, new clothes, and stuff that needs mending. The clothing mountains usually stay a week or two before I get disgusted and put it all in the proper places. Unfortunately, the cycle begins again immediately.

Saturday, September 24, 2005

Deja vu!

Driving home from work tonight, I saw another bagpiper. He was a fireman, of all things, standing in front of his station in the dark and playing away. Another coincidence? He was directly across the street from a park.
These are the moments camera phones were made for. Alas that I cannot afford one.

Thursday, September 22, 2005

Thursday is Hell Day.

eh heh. NoUpdate McBaron here. I'm bloody exhausted, but the day was mildly interesting enough to share.
Nemo's Notable Observations Today:
*There was a bagpiper playing his/her heart out in the little "park" (aka empty space with 3 trees and a bench) near the campus. I have seen one or two bagpipers in public before, but this was the first one who was a) not in San Francisco, and b) actually listenable. Bag on, dude.
*Pop Tarts has a new flavor, Strawberry Milkshake. That's right, you'd be EATING a milkshake. In a Pop Tart. That's just weird, man.
*There sure are an awful lot of college whippersnappers this semester (well, I say college). There were kids so young in my geology class that they were only 2 or 3 years old during the Loma Prieta Earthquake. I am officially too old to be going to that school.
*It was amusing to watch the attached-at-both-hips, limb-entangled, can't-let-go-of-each-other-for-two-seconds couple try to figure out how to get into their car without disengaging from their permanent embrace.
*Today was apparently Dumb Pedestrian Day, though I don't recall getting that memo. I lost count of how many dumbfucks kept jaywalking directly into oncoming traffic, also jumping in front of my car for no obvious reason, etc. Not to mention Dumbfuck On A Bike, who, while crossing against the light, decided to perform a badass maneuver, only to end up crashing and asphalt-burning his ugly shirtless ass. Then he held up traffic retrieving his cell phone, wallet, hat, brain, and shoe, with his ugly shirtless buddy on a bike trying to help. Nice move, jerk.
*On a similar note, today was another day when my car was apparently invisible, because other cars were pulling out in front of me, stealing my turn at stop signs, backing into me, and switching lanes on top of me like there was no tomorrow. Another theory is that my car is so freaking awesome that other drivers are hypnotically drawn to steer as close as they can get to my driver's seat, forgetting that two cars do not magically blend together.
*Sitting in classes from 10AM until 7PM is agony on the butt.
*Writing the best essay in history class and having the teacher pass it around as an example for the other students to follow is bitchin'.

Saturday, August 27, 2005

"No, ma'am, we're musicians."

Happy Silver Anniversary to The Blues Brothers!!!!
Twenty-five years ago, the cult hit movie The Blues Brothers was released. We watched Jake and Elwood on their "mission from god," rampaging their way through Chicago. They cleverly outwitted cops, got beaten by a nun with a stick, took out a group of Nazis ("I hate Illinois Nazis."), and caused an obscene amount of damage. Most importantly, they exhibited great music, not just playing it themselves, but getting legends such as James Brown ("Do you see the light?"), Aretha Franklin ("You better think about the consequences of your actions."), John Lee Hooker, Cab Calloway ("Boys, you gotta learn not to talk to nuns that way."), and Ray Charles ("Ah, excuse me, but I don't think there's anything wrong with the action on this piano.") in on the act. Singing, dancing, destruction, and stupid, off-the-wall humor; ah, life is good.
My dad's a big fan, so The Blues Brothers was an essential part of my upbringing. Whether or not this was healthy is debatable.
[Nerd note: Trooper Mount is played by Steven Williams, who later plays the mysterious Mr. X on The X-Files.]
The sequel, Blues Brothers 2000, was released in 1998. Again, it displayed some truly excellent music and talented artists (Johnny Lang, BB King, Wilson Pickett, Blues Traveler, Erykah Badu, and returnees James Brown and Aretha), but toned down the insanity and made it a bit more family-friendly. Try as they might, though, it didn't quite measure up (for example, hick white supremasist conspiracy theorists are simply not as funny antagonists as Illinois Nazis driving Pintos). It was a good movie, just not as hilarious as the first one.
Let's leave the last words to the gang:
-"This place has got everything." (Jake, whilst traveling through the mall. Literally.)
-"I'll have some dry white toast."
"And I'll have four fried chickens and a coke." (Elwood and Jake, ordering at the Soul Food Cafe).
-"The Blues Brothers?! Shit. They still owe you money, fool!" (Aretha)
-"Three orange whips." (Mr. Mercer, ordering drinks at the concert.)
-"We're putting the band back together." (Jake)
-"No pharmaceutical product could ever equal the rush you get when the band hits that groove..." (Elwood J. Blues, Blues Brothers 2000)

Saturday, August 06, 2005

"I'm a rebel; I'm evil. My anti-perspirant is breaking down!"

Feeling a bit bad-ass right now. But I'm almost ashamed to admit why.
I thought it would be a good idea to learn to sew this summer, so I tried to enroll in an adult-ed class ("Sewing 1 - The Basics of Sewing") but it was all filled. I signed up on the wait list, but knew I wouldn't get in. Lo' and behold, the teacher called me a couple days before class and said she had ONE opening. So I signed up. I paid for the class. I expected to be taught to, you know, sew.
First class, I walk in and sit down and not two seconds pass before one of the "advaced" students (read: middle-aged house wives who have nothing better to do than take Sewing 1 over and over again, chat about their kids, and sew up some truly heinous "country crap" creations) pulled out a project to show to her friends. "Look what I finished yesterday! It's for my kitchen!" she squealed, and her friends all cooed in rapture. It was a stuffed cow. And it was wearing a home-made frilly floral dress.
I should have taken that as a sign.
This class gave no informative instruction; we had to pick our own projects and figure them out ourselves. The teacher interacted with us when asked for help. Said teacher was this stuck-up old bat who took a dislike to me the moment I asked her to explain how to hand-baste (I said I can't sew!). After that, she started staring at me strangely after I spoke, then after a long pause she'd say something like "okaaay..." or "right..." or sometimes "I see..." Example: she came to my work table and asked what project I was starting. I happily replied, "It's a simple bag to carry around my knitting projects! It's just a square with two handles" She did the staring thing, then said, " will be just like your purse there." She pointed to a little purse I'd made at home that weekend. "Yep," I replied, smiling, "but it will be bigger, of course." She stared at me like a foreign creature for a moment, then turned and old-lady-shuffled off. (Call me wrong, but I always thought teachers should encourage their students, not turn away in disgust.)
By the third class, I had realized that we weren't being taught anything, and we weren't going to be taught anything. All the sewing info I'd received during those weeks was from my mum, when I'd nag her into showing me something. At the start of that third class, sitting there among boring housewives at least fifteen years my seniors (the other three beginners had dropped out by this time), it suddenly struck me that I was in a sewing circle, a goddamned sewing circle. I was being ignored by a bunch of ugly old ladies with nothing more interesting in their lives than their children. And I was doing nothing there that I couldn't do at home.
I gathered my stuff, stood up, and, giving the teacher a look of disgust, walked out the door.
I just wrote a very nasty letter to the adult-ed chairman.
And it's making me feel like a rebel with a Billy-Idol-sneer. Which is so very sad.

Wednesday, July 27, 2005


In springtime Japan, many folks like to throw and attend hanami (cherry blossom viewing parties). Well, I have my own spring tradition: Duck-for-me (baby duck voyeur excursions). I'm not very good at the timing, though; I usually go too early or too late.
But this year I hit it right on the nose! I was awash in fluffy duck cuteness! It's taken me, what, two months to load up the pics, but here's some quackers for y'all.

The park also has a really nice rose garden, so I checked that out too. Despite the fact that three years in the wedding business left me with little excitement for said ceremonies, even I gotta say that this would be a gorgeous place to get hitched.

This shot makes me think of the Secret Garden.

See that lady towards the left of this pic? She and her adult daughter(?) kept giving me dirty looks. I suspect they thought I was a possible pedophile photographing the little kids who were with them. They wouldn't let the kids go into whichever area of the garden I was in at the moment.

The enlightening signs in this park are great. This sign, for example, informed me that I was in the "Rose Garden," which helped dispel my notions that I was in, say, the lake.

Thursday, June 30, 2005

Scrub-a-dub-dub, I wish there was a man in my tub.

Time for some product love, aka unpaid product plugging. I think I mentioned before that I have a fetish for exfoliating, and I've finally found a product I really like.
Super Minty Soap 'n' Scrub by Bliss is freakin' awesome. Yes, it exfoliates really well, but what makes me a fan is the sweet, sweet mint action. Smells great, and gives you this wonderful cooling tingle all over (much appreciated, as I have no air conditioning right now). It also suds up like a soap for extra fun and cleansing bliss. While I'm not so sure about the "energizing" claim, the minty goodness does perk me up a bit.
It was more expensive than I liked, at about $30, but I think it was worth it. Maybe when I run out, I'll try to make my own imitation. Still, this stuff is Lainey-approved and recommend.


Thursday, June 16, 2005

Laziness, Vacation-ness, and PackRat-edness

Been back for a week now. D-Land was totally fun, but it was really weird to go down there without the usual D-land posse and ginger snaps (I brought Teddy Grahams for old time's sake). It was doubly weird not to be going for Expo, and the hotel room seemed bare without the costumes, refrigerator, and Expo paraphernalia. Which is not to say I didn't have a blast; I did, though, as usual, I bought a bunch of overpriced crap that I don't really need. And as usual, I probably annoyed the living hell out of my poor roommate (I don't think I'm an easy person to tolerate for short periods of time, let alone live with). But I still love me some vacations with friends.

Since the return from the magic kingdom, I've been slobbing around, putting off signing up for summer classes, and trying to find the enthusiasm to clean my den of rooms. I want to get rid of (or put in storage) everything I don't use regularly. I decided to start with the powder room, since it's much smaller and, theoretically, easier. This is me we're talking about, however, and I know I'm lazy about, well, almost everything. When I'm running low on shampoo, lotion, etc., I of course go out to buy a new bottle to have when the last of the old stuff runs out. But often I start right in on the new one, and the old one sits there for a while until I use it or pour it into the new bottle. Sometimes, I never get around to doing that, and the two drops that are "too much to throw away!" sit unnoticed in a dark corner. I knew there would be some of these Forgotten Ones in the cabinet. I also knew there would be some bottles of products that I bought at some point or another and didn't like, but, being the major packrat I am, felt it would be a waste to throw away (over half a container!).
Little did I suspect the true horror awaiting me.
I had so many Nearly Empties in there that I disgusted myself. Here's just a whiff:

All told, I disposed of about twenty or twenty-five bottles of basically nothing, some of which were years old. Included were a few bottles of Stuff I Tried But The Shit Didn't Work (all hair products). Among these was a bottle of "Super Straight Hair" shampoo, which I bought when I was about twelve or thirteen, and naively assumed that it would do as advertised, and that I could have normal, beautiful hair. I think the instant when I saw that my hair was as frizzy and curly as ever and realized that those bastards had LIED to me was the moment I lost my faith in mankind. We lie to desperate Curly Girls; we are all going straight to hell in a hand basket. Anyway, the stuff used to be a lovely light lavender color, but look at what ten years in a dark cupboard have done to it:

On the plus side, the room is very clean, empty, and probably healthier now.
Two rooms to go.

Saturday, June 04, 2005

Nyah Nyah

Didn't fit in a real update this week, did I? Oh, well.
Just wanted to say that as of tomorrow, I will be here:

...And you won't.

See you in a week!

Thursday, May 19, 2005

Exam Cravings?

What the hell's angels? This past week or two, as I have ploughed through finals frantically and tirelessly (okay, that last one's a lie; I'm dead tired), I've had the worst cravings EVER. I'm normally one of those folks who eat their way through final exams, but I've never craved such specific and weird stuff. I'm like a freaking pregnant woman. Here's some examples:
-plain, cooked pasta
-hot dog with mustard and a side of ranch dip
-Triscuit crackers, cottage cheese and cucumber
-pizza and peanut butter
-sandwich #21 from Togo's
-nachos and a banana milkshake
-butterscotch pudding (I usually dislike this flavor, it's too rich, but I HAD to eat some)
-sour-cream-and-onion potato chips with bean dip
-onion. Plain, raw onion. Chomped-from-the-bulb onion.
Yeah, so most of these were totally unhealthy, and the rest were just kinda kooky (I mean, c'mon, what kind of person with the merest trace of taste buds will eat onions like goddamn apples??).
On the plus side, finals are now OVER. That's right: FUCKING FINISHED. All I have next week are class "meetings" in which we get our grades and leave early and maybe watch movies. I'm so damn happy that I just can't describe; this was the most stressful semester and finals week I've ever had. I haven't even been to my job in a week, and in the past seventy-two hours, I've gotten about six hours of sleep. I was totally on the verge of tears when I turned in my last two essays today. Projects, exams, essays, all-nighters, cramming, reviewing: I'm done with them ALL! And now I'm going to sleep until Sunday.
Maybe now I will stop eating like a vacuum...

Thursday, April 28, 2005

The End is Near...

That's right, my friends, this semester is almost over. Four more weeks, and then we can wallow in sweet, sweet summer vacation. At least until summer classes begin. *sigh*
Spare time to knit 'n' do other stuff has been scarce, and besides, my brain has long since fried. I used to love to read whenever I could get the chance, but this semester my extracurricular reading has been so sad. My brain shuts off all but the simplest of functions during leisure time, so it just can't absorb any of the books I want to read. I've been reduced to reading very simple material, such as H.P. and some old books from my "young adult reader" days. It's so pathetic I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I'm done knitting my Classy, but it needs to be blocked and fringed, and I'm far too lazy for that. So it's sitting in a corner being ignored. Don't bother calling FOPS (Finished Object Protection Services) because they don't exist.
Hmm, what can I talk about? Um, back in the beginning of this year, I got tired of blowing my money on circular needles of all shapes and sizes. $7-$10 /needle set = big bucks out the door, you circular bastards. So I bought a Denise needles set on a recommendation. I've heard knitters rave annoyingly about these, which turned me off, but I was desperate to save money, and didn't mind as long as they worked. Well, I hate to say this but...... I really LOVE these needles. You can pick and choose, mix and match the needle size and length; it provokes a blissful satisfaction similar to using legos to build a perfect dildo (not that I've done that, sickos) (dude, I should have said "erector set;" how kinky!). Anyways, the set was pricey - mine was about $40 or $45 - but when you think how many needle combinations you can do with the set, that price seems pretty damned reasonable. Be a cheap-ass like me and buy it.

A couple of times over spring break, and once a few of weekends ago, I managed to actually see my friends. It was so freaking great, I just can't describe. I hadn't seen any of them since the beginning of the semester. I kept thinking, "I really love these people" and "I'd forgotten what being social was like." I only realized then how horribly lonely I'd been feeling without them. There is truly nothing like having awesome friends.

Sunday, March 27, 2005


Seems like a lot of needlecraft folks are in a tizzy over the rag that Martha Satan wore for the beginning of her Second Coming. If you're not familiar with said garment, you lucky person, here's a picture to enlighten:

She's back and now she wants our SOULS!

Craft sites were overflowing with stupid posts about how gorgeous the poncho is and how much people want the pattern and blah blah blah. Many of these folks had terrible grammar, and thought that the Dark Lady had made the thing herself, which is not true. I will say that the real crocheter, a fellow inmate of Satan's, obviously has a fair amount of skill. But frankly, people, it just ain't that great. Ponchos are ten a penny these days, and most of them, including this one, look like something I'd use to wash my car. What really gets my goat is that the inmate, according to CNN, spends most of her days crocheting with yarn provided by the prison. Federally funded yarn and all the spare time in the world? Sign me up for Camp Cupcake.
Speaking of yarn, I was burrowing through my stash the other day, and I found a disturbing amount of unused skeins. I bought yarn here and there for projects, but never got around to starting them. Some of these projects-to-be have been sitting around for at least a year. And some of them have achieved Mystery status, meaning I have completely forgotten what I'd planned to do with the damned yarn when I bought it (this is now DeadWeight Yarn). So, until most of these are done, no new projects for me. I'm going to work on these projects on a first-bought, first-knit basis.

How can I complain about Martha posts when I am doing one, too?

Tuesday, March 15, 2005

Super-sized update!

This poor blog is languishing.... languishing in the desert of my neglect.
The other day, I made the mistake of unwittingly timing my errand-running to coincide with the day's release of the public school kids. So of course the library was cluttered with brats of all ages hogging the work spaces and computers, and being generally noisy. I managed to bully off some kids who were using a computer to play games, but half a dozen prepubescent boys crowding around the computer next to yours, shouting out game tips, and jostling for play time can be pretty distracting. I soon gave up and left, fuming about stupid parents who consider libraries to be a daycare center for their stupid offspring.
The grocery store wasn't much of an improvement. (For god's sake, kids! If you don't have anything better to do than wander around the produce aisle, then go the fuck home!) Walking to the self-checkout, I passed this spherical little son of a chunk who was buying a date with Little Debbie. As I walked by, my senses were totally assaulted by the withering smell of a human who believes bathing is the original sin. After suppressing my gag reflex, I held my breath and had an imaginary conversation in my head:
Me: "excuse me, but the deodorant is in aisle 9. By the way, have your parents had The Talk with you yet?"
Stinky McBaron: "you mean, like the birds and bees and stuff?"
Me: "No. Hygiene."
Parents, please teach your kids about basic grooming and cleaning habits. Forget drugs and STDs, 'cause believe you me, if you kid smells like a sauna in the Wilderness Men's Hunting Lodge, he's never even gonna have social interactions, let alone get a chance to swap genital cooties.
Speaking of grooming, our society has stipulated that women need to be smooth and clean-shaven. Well, I believe that men should be expected to at least do some basic fur trimming. It's so unappetizing to see what looks like Bigfoot's pubic region burgeoning from a man's armpit. I mean, eww.
Okay, change of topic. In knitting news, I plunked out a baby hat for my knocked-up coworker. I have no idea how big a bay's head is; to check if the hat was anywhere close to the right size, I tried to borrow an infant from some woman at the mall, but she didn't take too kindly to that. So here is Pengo modeling it instead.

I'm thinking of making some baby booties to match. But I probably won't.

Thursday, February 10, 2005

Call out for noodle sushi!

Out of the darkness... an update emerged....
Yes, I realized its been nearly a month. I'm a slacker. But with school, work, and school work, I've been a busy little slacker.
I'm progressing slooowly on my projects; I can't seem to find the energy (or time) to get into the knittin' groove. So y'all get a special video game review today. That's right, my friends, wipe the tears of joy out of your eyes, 'cause we're entering the world of "PaRappa the Rappa 2."

Here's the story: our fave rappin' paper doll dog dude was lucky enough to win a lifetime supply of noodles. After weeks of noodles for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, however, PaRappa snaps and heads out to forage for real food. Imagine his dismay when he goes to the best burger joint in town, only to discover that all the meat there has turned into (drumroll) noodles. Other things in town get noodle-ized, and PaRappa seeks out the wisdom of the best rap masters around to solve this mystery.
As the player, your job is to help PaRappa follow their example. You must press the correct combination of buttons at the right times, or else PaRappa falters in his rappin' and loses points. This can be a bit tricky to get the hang of at first, but all it takes is a bit of practice and *poof* - you're a Rapping Master. This game would be a blast to play with a group; like DDR, the most fun would be laughing at each others' mistakes.
This game had bad influences on me in two ways:
1) I REALLY craved noodles for a while.
2) The songs are totally contagious. I found myself mentally rapping away during any activity - sweeping, homework, laundry, walking, and yes, knitting (knit, knitknit, purl purl!).
Ahh, I'm a dork.

"Yeah, I know! I gotta BELIEVE!" -PaRappa

Wednesday, January 19, 2005

Post-Holidays, but still busy

I wanted to put up pics of all the Christmas presents I made for friends and family, but....
I forgot to take pictures before I gave the things away. Moron.
So, instead, you'll have to be satisfied with a list of what I made:
1) a lovely RagTime scarf, which turned out loads better than my first one did.
2) Pink Purse, which I almost wish I'd made into a felt project. Felting = fun. But I really adore how this came out and hope the recipient does too.
3) another Dia scarf, for mum this time.
4) Big Pimpin' Hat for buddy Josh.
5) Chunky Monkey scarf (it's very warm).
6) Shut yo' Keyhole scarf - a 'keyhole' scarf for my brother.
And here's one that didn't make it in time for Christmas, but was still made with lots of love:
Grandma's Head Cozy

This progress shot ain't great but shows the diagonal rib stitch pretty well - I loved it! It looks quite elegant, but was so damned easy that it felt like I was cheating. I couldn't knit in the round, sadly, because I lacked the funds to buy new circular and DP needles. So I had to settle for flat knitting.

And done! This is my stupid test shot, but then the camera batteries died, and I had to present the hat to Grandma shortly after. No time for a photographic fashion show!

The pattern is from Donna Kooler's Encyclopedia of Knitting, by the way. I substituted the suggested superwash yarn with Lamb's Pride Worsted because that's what I had, but I think the superwash wool would have looked much better.
That's all I have right now. I have several projects going, but I can't seem to focus on one main one. I keep bobbing from one to another in a bored fashion, but I'm not bored! I can't stand the thought of putting any of these projects into hibernation!

Saturday, January 01, 2005

List Mania

Is it just me, or does 2005 have a sort of blase feel to it? I'm not getting very good vibes here.
It's the time of year for a very special event: "Nemo's 2004 in Review," a.k.a: "My Look Back at 2004 is better and shorter than all those craptabulous ones on the telly."
Top 5 Music Albums This Year
1) Franz Ferdinand - [self-titled]. Fun, quirky Scottish retro-Brit-sounding rockers in argyle jumpers. I adore this album to pieces. This passion has become slightly tainted since the band's announcement that they are re-releasing the album with eight new tracks. Those of us who bought the first release are, presumably, fuck out of luck.
2) The Killers - "Hot Fuss." Though the second half of the album is mediocre, the first half is so awesome that you won't much care.
3) Muse - "Absolution." Deliciously dark and brooding, this album is excellent from beginning to end.
4) Erasure - "Hits: The Very Best of Erasure." Okay, I think this came out in 2003, but I got it this year so it makes the list. Erasure kicks the snot out of all other 80's bands. They have sythesizers and they're not afraid to use them!
5) I don't think there's a #5. I lied.
6) Green Day - "American Idiot." Can't believe I almost forgot these guys, but they're too awesome to leave off the list.
Worst news of 2004: Bush is back for a second attack.
Best news: The next HP book is done and will be relesed in July 2005. Also, Mars Volta is coming out with a new CD in February 2005. Did anything else happen? My life is so sad.
Most amusing news: Martha Stupid got put in the slammer. Maybe she'll shut up for awhile.
Best DVD release: "Lord of the Rings: Return of the King. Platnium extended edition."
I can't remember anything else.
Ya know, I usually don't make new year's resolutions, but this year I've got a whole slew of 'em:
1) Learn to crochet
2) Finish all abandoned knitting projects (I have at least 5 going right now).
3) Drink more water, and cut back further on soda.
4) Start experimenting with dying yarn at home.
5) Work on my sewing skills (they're really pathetic as of now, so this one won't be too difficult).
6) Eat more fruits and veggies (obligatory health-related resolution).
7) Acquire permanent job.
Let's see how well I keep these, yeah?

Enjoy the new year, folks!