Wednesday, October 26, 2005


During a stop on our geology field trip in the Marin Headlands area, we saw several park ranger vehicles drive by with the lights flashing. When we were ready to continue five minutes later, they'd blocked off the main road, and we were detoured to no man's land.
The reason for this, we just discovered, was that less than half a mile away from where we'd been, some guy had pulled over on the side of the road and was, apparently, yuking. Rangers noticed and tried to question him, but he was acting weird, so they searched his car. Lo and behold, there in the trunk was his ex-girlfriend, whom he'd very recently killed. That's when the rangers called in the cavalry. Presumably, the dude was planning on doing a body dump over the cliff. The excitement of our near-brush with a murderer was spoiled by his idiocy. A stealthier criminal would have picked a time other than midday on a sunny weekend to do his body-dumping.

Monday, October 24, 2005


Went to the coast yesterday on a field trip for my geology class. After about eight hours "out in the field" with my classmates, I was forced to come to an inescapable conclusion: cool people do not go on geology field trips. These are excursions for the nerd elite. I can only say that there were a lot of Star Wars jokes.
It was an interesting. We got to glare jealously at the HUGE ocean-side houses - damn rich people. But I was comforted by the fact that although they can afford multi-million-dollar coastal homes, money can't buy them brains. This was exhibited by the fact that they chose to build next to or directly on top of fault lines, and also that the rock supporting their mansions was pillow basalt, which is constantly being devoured by the ocean. Further evidence was a house which boasted a backyard fence literally on the edge of a sharp cliff over the ocean. And the fence was about two feet tall. As if that wasn't dangerous enough, those daredevils chose to place a trampoline in their yard. Within three feet of the inexplicably short fence.
It was, admittedly, hard to gauge exact distances from my vantage point, but here's how it looked:

I did see a couple of kids jumping on the thing, but when we passed by again thirty minutes later, they were gone. Did they go inside? Or did they fall over the absurdly short fence?
Now that's natural selection at work.

In closing, I would just like to say that when you work this hard for a joke, it doesn't deserve to be laughed at:

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

Meme'd to Death.

To be honest, I don't really know what the word meme means. I just know that it's a term bloggers use for "tagging" each other with random "personality quizzes." Basically, they are the blog equivalent of stupid mass-forwarded emails. Still, I got "tagged" at some chick's site, and since I have nothing better to do at the moment, here goes:

10 Years Ago: I was in junior high, getting alternately ignored and teased by the other kids, wearing ugly clothes and braces, fighting with my hair, and hating every second of everything.
5 Years Ago: I was fresh out of high school with little direction in my life, loving and adjusting to my first job, and perpetually late for everything. I was one year away from a rather traumatizing series of car accidents, none of which were my fault (honestly!). I was also, sadly, a bit thinner.
1 Year Ago: I was grieving for my Kibby Kitty. I was also beginning to focus more on school and to set serious academic goals in my desperation to graduate from community college.

5 Treats I Enjoy:
  • Cold water.
  • Twix bar.
  • Nectarines.
  • Over-priced yuppie coffee drinks.
  • Hot cocoa.

5 Songs I Know the Words To: I think I know quite a few more, but here's the ones I can think of now.

  • "#1 Crush," Garbage.
  • the entire Franz Ferdinand album.
  • "Should I stay or Should I go," The Clash.
  • "Silver and Cold," AFI.
  • the entire "Hot Fuss" album by The Killers.

5 Things I Would Do With a Million Dollars: (I wouldn't buy you a monkey.)

  • Bum around Europe for a year or two.
  • Take my friends to Hawai'i or somewhere equally fun.
  • Go on a maaaaad shoe/clothing/purse/jewelry shopping spree.
  • Hook myself up with an iPod.
  • Buy half a house (this is, remember, California. A million dollars only goes so far).

5 Places I'd Like to Run Away To:

  • England. (Nowhere specific.)
  • Hawaii or Polynesia.
  • France.
  • The ocean.
  • Canada (death to Bush).

5 Things I Would Never Wear:

  • Pointy-toed shoes (my feet are f-ing big enough).
  • Real animal fur.
  • Tapered-leg pants.
  • Plaid with polka dots and stripes.
  • A bikini in public (I don't want to be the cause of mass blindness and trauma).

5 Favorite T.V. Shows: I try not to watch t.v., because I'm easily addicted, plus it makes me feel dumb. These shows are the only I watch with any sort of regularity, and they are all really lame. I started to watch the last two as part of a project for my American Culture class, and now continue to watch for no real reason. But they are all good to knit in front of.

  • CSI - (Original series only) Very unrealistic for the most part. But I enjoy predicting the plot twists and watching the downright bizarre cases unfold. And I do like most of the characters.
  • Without a Trace - Again, lame. The delicious Enrique Murciano make it worth the watch, but lately not even he can save its recent turn to boring and angsty crap.
  • Lost - Addicting at first, but it's starting to drag. I mean, how long can one stay interested in dramatic, mysterious plot twists with a bunch of gorgeous people (every one with a tragic past) stuck on a booby-trapped island? Do yourselves a favor, guys, and end it this season.
  • Desperate Housewives - I can hear you laughing at me. I'm not sure why I watch this show, except to see how ridiculous it gets. It's so lame and to the extreme. I don't think I even like any of the characters, although Mike Delfino is some good eye-candy. I find it fascinating that our culture is one that will tune in en masse to a show that glorifies hormone-driven lowlifes behaving badly.
  • Grey's Anatomy - I can just see the creators of this show doing the initial brainstorming. Some schmuck probably said, "Hey! ER's been done, but what if we completely changed the "hospital workers" theme by mixing in healthy doses of teenage angst like you'd find on the WB channel, and "clever modern singles with unrealistically witty dialogue" a la Sex and the City?" And all the other schmucks exclaimed, "BRILLIANT!!" This show is so trite and predictable that it's funny to watch. The characters are junior high kids put in the bodies of adults, having crushes on each other and moaning about how their lives are miserable. The writers took every single situation that's been over-done on TV and crammed it all into this show: casual sex, unexpected pregnancy, the boyfriend's wife showing up, contracting an STD from your girlfriend only to find she got it from your most hated coworker, unrequited love, yadda yadda yadda. Keep in mind that these people are supposed to be responsible for the lives and health of the masses, and yet they don't know enough to use condoms. Sheesh.

5 Greatest Joys:

  • Reading a new book. Or an old favorite.
  • Finishing my homework.
  • Sleeping late.
  • Holidays with the family.
  • Having my rooms be clean and organized. (Not that it lasts long...)

5 idiosyncrasies:

  • You remember that "step on a crack..." children's rhyme? Well, to this day I don't step on the cracks. Not for fear of any superstition; it's been automatic for years.
  • I don't like to sleep with socks on.
  • When I was little and a very quiet, shy little kid, I didn't like to express myself in any way others would notice. So when I got really happy or excited, I would give a silent shudder. I still find myself doing this on occasion, mostly when I'm alone.
  • When eating dinner, I have always started with the vegetables, then the side dish, and saved the main meat for last. If the side dish is better than the main (e.g.: mashed potatoes vs. pork), however, then I eat the side dish last.
  • I always make piles on the floor. They can consist of books, papers, knitting crap, but it's usually clothes. Dirty clothes, yes, but also clothes that I tried on but didn't wear, new clothes, and stuff that needs mending. The clothing mountains usually stay a week or two before I get disgusted and put it all in the proper places. Unfortunately, the cycle begins again immediately.