Meme'd to Death.

To be honest, I don't really know what the word meme means. I just know that it's a term bloggers use for "tagging" each other with random "personality quizzes." Basically, they are the blog equivalent of stupid mass-forwarded emails. Still, I got "tagged" at some chick's site, and since I have nothing better to do at the moment, here goes:

10 Years Ago: I was in junior high, getting alternately ignored and teased by the other kids, wearing ugly clothes and braces, fighting with my hair, and hating every second of everything.
5 Years Ago: I was fresh out of high school with little direction in my life, loving and adjusting to my first job, and perpetually late for everything. I was one year away from a rather traumatizing series of car accidents, none of which were my fault (honestly!). I was also, sadly, a bit thinner.
1 Year Ago: I was grieving for my Kibby Kitty. I was also beginning to focus more on school and to set serious academic goals in my desperation to graduate from community college.

5 Treats I Enjoy:

• Cold water.
• Twix bar.
• Nectarines.
• Over-priced yuppie coffee drinks.
• Hot cocoa.

5 Songs I Know the Words To: I think I know quite a few more, but here's the ones I can think of now.

• "#1 Crush," Garbage.
• the entire Franz Ferdinand album.
• "Should I stay or Should I go," The Clash.
• "Silver and Cold," AFI.
• the entire "Hot Fuss" album by The Killers.

5 Things I Would Do With a Million Dollars: (I wouldn't buy you a monkey.)

• Bum around Europe for a year or two.
• Take my friends to Hawai'i or somewhere equally fun.
• Go on a maaaaad shoe/clothing/purse/jewelry shopping spree.
• Hook myself up with an iPod.
• Buy half a house (this is, remember, California. A million dollars only goes so far).

5 Places I'd Like to Run Away To:

• England. (Nowhere specific.)
• Hawaii or Polynesia.
• France.
• The ocean.
• Canada (death to Bush).

5 Things I Would Never Wear:

• Pointy-toed shoes (my feet are f-ing big enough).
• Real animal fur.
• Tapered-leg pants.
• Plaid with polka dots and stripes.
• A bikini in public (I don't want to be the cause of mass blindness and trauma).

5 Favorite T.V. Shows: I try not to watch t.v., because I'm easily addicted, plus it makes me feel dumb. These shows are the only I watch with any sort of regularity, and they are all really lame. I started to watch the last two as part of a project for my American Culture class, and now continue to watch for no real reason. But they are all good to knit in front of.

• CSI - (Original series only) Very unrealistic for the most part. But I enjoy predicting the plot twists and watching the downright bizarre cases unfold. And I do like most of the characters.
  
• Without a Trace - Again, lame. The delicious Enrique Murciano make it worth the watch, but lately not even he can save its recent turn to boring and angsty crap.
  
• Lost - Addicting at first, but it's starting to drag. I mean, how long can one stay interested in dramatic, mysterious plot twists with a bunch of gorgeous people (every one with a tragic past) stuck on a booby-trapped island? Do yourselves a favor, guys, and end it this season.
• Desperate Housewives - I can hear you laughing at me. I'm not sure why I watch this show, except to see how ridiculous it gets. It's so lame and to the extreme. I don't think I even like any of the characters, although Mike Delfino is some good eye-candy. I find it fascinating that our culture is one that will tune in en masse to a show that glorifies hormone-driven lowlifes behaving badly.
  
• Grey's Anatomy - I can just see the creators of this show doing the initial brainstorming. Some schmuck probably said, "Hey! ER's been done, but what if we completely changed the "hospital workers" theme by mixing in healthy doses of teenage angst like you'd find on the WB channel, and "clever modern singles with unrealistically witty dialogue" a la Sex and the City?" And all the other schmucks exclaimed, "BRILLIANT!!" This show is so trite and predictable that it's funny to watch. The characters are junior high kids put in the bodies of adults, having crushes on each other and moaning about how their lives are miserable. The writers took every single situation that's been over-done on TV and crammed it all into this show: casual sex, unexpected pregnancy, the boyfriend's wife showing up, contracting an STD from your girlfriend only to find she got it from your most hated coworker, unrequited love, yadda yadda yadda. Keep in mind that these people are supposed to be responsible for the lives and health of the masses, and yet they don't know enough to use condoms. Sheesh.

5 Greatest Joys:

• Reading a new book. Or an old favorite.
• Finishing my homework.
• Sleeping late.
• Holidays with the family.
• Having my rooms be clean and organized. (Not that it lasts long...)

5 idiosyncrasies:

• You remember that "step on a crack..." children's rhyme? Well, to this day I don't step on the cracks. Not for fear of any superstition; it's been automatic for years.
• I don't like to sleep with socks on.
• When I was little and a very quiet, shy little kid, I didn't like to express myself in any way others would notice. So when I got really happy or excited, I would give a silent shudder. I still find myself doing this on occasion, mostly when I'm alone.
• When eating dinner, I have always started with the vegetables, then the side dish, and saved the main meat for last. If the side dish is better than the main (e.g.: mashed potatoes vs. pork), however, then I eat the side dish last.
• I always make piles on the floor. They can consist of books, papers, knitting crap, but it's usually clothes. Dirty clothes, yes, but also clothes that I tried on but didn't wear, new clothes, and stuff that needs mending. The clothing mountains usually stay a week or two before I get disgusted and put it all in the proper places. Unfortunately, the cycle begins again immediately.

Deja vu!

Driving home from work tonight, I saw another bagpiper. He was a fireman, of all things, standing in front of his station in the dark and playing away. Another coincidence? He was directly across the street from a park.
These are the moments camera phones were made for. Alas that I cannot afford one.

Thursday is Hell Day.

eh heh. NoUpdate McBaron here. I'm bloody exhausted, but the day was mildly interesting enough to share.
Nemo's Notable Observations Today:
*There was a bagpiper playing his/her heart out in the little "park" (aka empty space with 3 trees and a bench) near the campus. I have seen one or two bagpipers in public before, but this was the first one who was a) not in San Francisco, and b) actually listenable. Bag on, dude.
*Pop Tarts has a new flavor, Strawberry Milkshake. That's right, you'd be EATING a milkshake. In a Pop Tart. That's just weird, man.
*There sure are an awful lot of college whippersnappers this semester (well, I say college). There were kids so young in my geology class that they were only 2 or 3 years old during the Loma Prieta Earthquake. I am officially too old to be going to that school.
*It was amusing to watch the attached-at-both-hips, limb-entangled, can't-let-go-of-each-other-for-two-seconds couple try to figure out how to get into their car without disengaging from their permanent embrace.
*Today was apparently Dumb Pedestrian Day, though I don't recall getting that memo. I lost count of how many dumbfucks kept jaywalking directly into oncoming traffic, also jumping in front of my car for no obvious reason, etc. Not to mention Dumbfuck On A Bike, who, while crossing against the light, decided to perform a badass maneuver, only to end up crashing and asphalt-burning his ugly shirtless ass. Then he held up traffic retrieving his cell phone, wallet, hat, brain, and shoe, with his ugly shirtless buddy on a bike trying to help. Nice move, jerk.
*On a similar note, today was another day when my car was apparently invisible, because other cars were pulling out in front of me, stealing my turn at stop signs, backing into me, and switching lanes on top of me like there was no tomorrow. Another theory is that my car is so freaking awesome that other drivers are hypnotically drawn to steer as close as they can get to my driver's seat, forgetting that two cars do not magically blend together.
*Sitting in classes from 10AM until 7PM is agony on the butt.
*Writing the best essay in history class and having the teacher pass it around as an example for the other students to follow is bitchin'.

"No, ma'am, we're musicians."

Happy Silver Anniversary to The Blues Brothers!!!!
Twenty-five years ago, the cult hit movie The Blues Brothers was released. We watched Jake and Elwood on their "mission from god," rampaging their way through Chicago. They cleverly outwitted cops, got beaten by a nun with a stick, took out a group of Nazis ("I hate Illinois Nazis."), and caused an obscene amount of damage. Most importantly, they exhibited great music, not just playing it themselves, but getting legends such as James Brown ("Do you see the light?"), Aretha Franklin ("You better think about the consequences of your actions."), John Lee Hooker, Cab Calloway ("Boys, you gotta learn not to talk to nuns that way."), and Ray Charles ("Ah, excuse me, but I don't think there's anything wrong with the action on this piano.") in on the act. Singing, dancing, destruction, and stupid, off-the-wall humor; ah, life is good.
My dad's a big fan, so The Blues Brothers was an essential part of my upbringing. Whether or not this was healthy is debatable.
[Nerd note: Trooper Mount is played by Steven Williams, who later plays the mysterious Mr. X on The X-Files.]
The sequel, Blues Brothers 2000, was released in 1998. Again, it displayed some truly excellent music and talented artists (Johnny Lang, BB King, Wilson Pickett, Blues Traveler, Erykah Badu, and returnees James Brown and Aretha), but toned down the insanity and made it a bit more family-friendly. Try as they might, though, it didn't quite measure up (for example, hick white supremasist conspiracy theorists are simply not as funny antagonists as Illinois Nazis driving Pintos). It was a good movie, just not as hilarious as the first one.
Let's leave the last words to the gang:
-"This place has got everything." (Jake, whilst traveling through the mall. Literally.)
-"I'll have some dry white toast."
"And I'll have four fried chickens and a coke." (Elwood and Jake, ordering at the Soul Food Cafe).
-"The Blues Brothers?! Shit. They still owe you money, fool!" (Aretha)
-"Three orange whips." (Mr. Mercer, ordering drinks at the concert.)
-"We're putting the band back together." (Jake)
-"No pharmaceutical product could ever equal the rush you get when the band hits that groove..." (Elwood J. Blues, Blues Brothers 2000)

"I'm a rebel; I'm evil. My anti-perspirant is breaking down!"

Feeling a bit bad-ass right now. But I'm almost ashamed to admit why.
I thought it would be a good idea to learn to sew this summer, so I tried to enroll in an adult-ed class ("Sewing 1 - The Basics of Sewing") but it was all filled. I signed up on the wait list, but knew I wouldn't get in. Lo' and behold, the teacher called me a couple days before class and said she had ONE opening. So I signed up. I paid for the class. I expected to be taught to, you know, sew.
First class, I walk in and sit down and not two seconds pass before one of the "advaced" students (read: middle-aged house wives who have nothing better to do than take Sewing 1 over and over again, chat about their kids, and sew up some truly heinous "country crap" creations) pulled out a project to show to her friends. "Look what I finished yesterday! It's for my kitchen!" she squealed, and her friends all cooed in rapture. It was a stuffed cow. And it was wearing a home-made frilly floral dress.
I should have taken that as a sign.
This class gave no informative instruction; we had to pick our own projects and figure them out ourselves. The teacher interacted with us when asked for help. Said teacher was this stuck-up old bat who took a dislike to me the moment I asked her to explain how to hand-baste (I said I can't sew!). After that, she started staring at me strangely after I spoke, then after a long pause she'd say something like "okaaay..." or "right..." or sometimes "I see..." Example: she came to my work table and asked what project I was starting. I happily replied, "It's a simple bag to carry around my knitting projects! It's just a square with two handles" She did the staring thing, then said, "okay...so...it will be just like your purse there." She pointed to a little purse I'd made at home that weekend. "Yep," I replied, smiling, "but it will be bigger, of course." She stared at me like a foreign creature for a moment, then turned and old-lady-shuffled off. (Call me wrong, but I always thought teachers should encourage their students, not turn away in disgust.)
By the third class, I had realized that we weren't being taught anything, and we weren't going to be taught anything. All the sewing info I'd received during those weeks was from my mum, when I'd nag her into showing me something. At the start of that third class, sitting there among boring housewives at least fifteen years my seniors (the other three beginners had dropped out by this time), it suddenly struck me that I was in a sewing circle, a goddamned sewing circle. I was being ignored by a bunch of ugly old ladies with nothing more interesting in their lives than their children. And I was doing nothing there that I couldn't do at home.
I gathered my stuff, stood up, and, giving the teacher a look of disgust, walked out the door.
I just wrote a very nasty letter to the adult-ed chairman.
And it's making me feel like a rebel with a Billy-Idol-sneer. Which is so very sad.